Runner, with a capital R

Well, bloggy friends, this weekend I became a Runner. Yes, yes, it's true that I've been running for the better part of 15 years...and it's true that I've considered myself a runner for most of that time. However, yesterday I achieved new heights (or lows, as it were) in my Running life. I became part of that subculture that is known as Runners (with a capital R). There are lots of things that are telltale signs of the species: black toenails; the farmer's blow; enjoying (fiction and non) books & movies about running; giving up treasured foods or drinks in order to improve the running game; ability to recall PRs at every distance; achieving the Holy Grail of Running--the BQ.

But it's not any of these characteristics that I achieved. No, it's something far more common, infinitely more useful, and tragically more out of character for me. Ladies and gentlemen, Runners among you, I give you THIS rock-solid evidence of this girl's ascent to the capital R:

Yes, like the dog in the picture above, I peed on a bush while out for a run1.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you may recall that my running tales are completely devoid of tales involving crazy bodily function antics. It's not because I don't share; it's because I don't poop myself while running, I don't pee unless there's a bathroom, and if I am throwing up it's because I am a) pregnant b) inhabitied by alien creatures that have overidden my natural body tendencies--quick, call the NSA. (I quite literally use viusalization techniques and matras to avoid throwing up--down, down, everything in my body, all engery goes in ONE direction only, down, down--this is my nausea mantra to avoid the puke...seriously, I hate puking THAT much.)

Well, yesterday I had to pee like mad (which coincidentally, I HAVE written about before) but had a known bathroom pitstop on my route. I jogged on over there, only to find a sign that said, "RESTROOMS CLOSED FOR THE SEASON." What? It's 50 degrees outside! And this is not really a classy facility, worthy of seasonal closure. This was not peep I could hold for 17 miles--I was at mile 2--so I did what any self-respecting Runner does. I looked for watchful eyes, passing cars or other runners on the trail, found a suitable large pinetree, whipped my running tights down, copped a quick squat, and then took off back on the trail at about an 7:00 minute mile in order to skedaddle right out of there.

A Runner is born.

1 - tip: don't google "picture peeing in bushes" from your work computer...unless "www.girlspeeingworld.com" is on your company's list of acceptable websites for work viewing....


  1. Awesome. I myself had a pee-on-a-run moment this past weekend. Unfortunately, I had to pee under and overpass (this is the plains in CO, no bushes or trees in sight!). Oh well, when you gotta go!

  2. Welcome to Runnerhood. I do those same mental tricks to keep from puking. :)

  3. Peeing is only half the fun. Just wait...

  4. Wow! I'm impressed. I've peed while hiking, but not while running. Then again, I'm still building up my miles and I've never ran 17 miles in one stretch before! Way to go!

  5. Oh this cracked me up! I did this on a trail run one time! I was so scared someone would see or a snake would bite my bum!

  6. Another one of the differences between boys and girls. I've heard that many guys can't imagine a run _without_ peeing in the middle at least once.

  7. I know ALL the pee hotspots along my route. Welcome to the club. :o)

  8. LOL! Too funny. I'm not sure I'm that skilled to squat and not make a mess.

    Winks & Smiles,