If I tell enough people I am training for a marathon, I will be too embarrassed to ever back out of actually doing it.
9.02.2009
I ran while Shortie1 was at soccer practice (new practice locale=right next to awesome running trails, highly auspicious) and at 2 minutes in, I already needed to stop and catch my breath. This was not going to be good. Damn M&Ms! My legs felt ok but I was panting and out of breath. I've only done this section of trail once or twice and it's generally comprised of rolling hills, but nothing too tough. It was hot, though, at about 90 degrees.
I kept plugging along. I was hoping to do a 9-flat or maybe sub-9 pace for the whole run. My first mile clocked in at 10:15. Uh oh. Mile 2 was about the same. At mile 2 I turned back so that I wouldn't be late meeting Shortie1 at the end of practice. It was at this point that I realized that it felt MUCHHHHHH easier going back. I was easily doing 7:55 pace! Then I realized that although there were rollers, I was actually going downhill. Soooooo....I had actually been going up a long gradual hill the whole way out, and didn't notice...well no wonder I was was huffing! I did end up running a negative split, keeping the pace faster the 2 miles back.
Overall run stats:
4 miles in 38:something (forgot what gizmo told me
Peanut butter M&M burps: 43.5
Bugs swallowed1: 2
Prairie dog2 sightings: 3,289
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1 - Perhaps they were attracted to the scent of peanut butter emanating from me?
2 - They were everywhere on this trail...and didn't run away when I approached, but stared me down--ballsy little things!--and I wasn't sure if perhaps I ought to be more afraid of them than they were of me. Do they bite? Will they chase me? I just didn't know. I ended up chattering at them as I do to my own (non-prairie) dogs. (Yes, cute guy who passed me on the BMX dirt bike, I am crazy, burping, red-faced, slow-running, self-talker. Carry on.) This seemed to freak them out enough that they just stared but left me alone.
8.24.2009
Beating the Mindf*ck Since 1993
a) not pushing yourself to achieve what you know could have, whether time or distance ("I'm just not that fast/I just can't run that far")
b) cutting a run short, just because you were "tired" ("I'm too tired to do 8 miles; I'll just do 5")
c) skipping a run entirely ("eh, I'll do it tomorrow...")
d) skipping a week (or God Forbid more) of runinng...and you aren't injured..or doing any other cross-training sport ("I think I need a week off from exercise")
e) quitting during a race ("I just can't run anymore...")
f) all of the above ("I'm just not a runner" or "I "don't like" running")
Last week, was kind of a toss-up for old Mindf*ck and me. On Tuesday, he got to second base with my morning run, inflicting a case of SRS and cutting it short. Oh, but Tuesday evening I claimed an "early curfew" and held him at bay to finish those 3 cheated miles. Take that MF! No love for you tonight, beyotch!
Then on Thursday (for spousal harmony reasons) hubs and I both ran again at the inside track. I planned to do about 20 or 30 minutes...and then, 6 minutes (that's 7 already-boring laps) into my run, the iPod ran out of juice. Whoa, running inside is barely tolerable at best (and that's giving it a LOT of credit), and that's with the assumption of constant iPod music being pumped into my frontal lobes in order to sedate me into staying on the track. But running inside (35 or more laps) sans music? Uh oh. No dice. However, I quickly realized that this is JUST what Mindf*ck wanted. He was buttering me up with cheap wine, hoping to get me drunk enough to agree to bump uglies with him later. Realizing this, I knew I could not give in so easily. If he expected to get this run to strip, he was going to have to work harder than that. A LOT harder (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
So when at 20 minutes I had to start dodging and weaving through the S-L-O-W mom-walkers going two-and three-abreast, I again considered nuzzling up with Mindf*ck. Hey, I did my 20 minutes, I am not a complete slug; maybe MF deserves a little kiss? But when I felt MF's fingers circling my waist, pulling me tight, tugging at my shorts...oh no, this fool ain't deflowering me! So I slapped that cad in the face and kept on running. For 40 minutes. 40:39 to be exact. And then I smiled over at old Mindf*ck and went home with my husband.
After this stunning Thursday victory over him, I couldn't believe when I saw MF skulking around the parking lot at the trail on Saturday morning. I was up for my first-ever 16 miler; he couldn't possibly think I would let him touch me again after the affront two days prior?! And on this important day in my training?! He started jogging slowly behind me, but I was just feeling to good to let him catch up and start sweet-talking me. I chugged along, enjoying the trail and waving at all my fellow runners.
By miles 10-11, which I managed to run at 8:35 pace, he was nowhere to be seen, so I guessed he had given up on me and gone home to get friendly with his hand instead. Imagine my surprise when I rounded the bend at mile 14 and there he stood, off to the side in the bushes, wearing only his Burberry raincoat....(he knows how to dress, I'll give him that)...but, wait, there aren't any rainclouds? Then *BAM!* he opened that raincoat and showed me his full glory. Shocked, I stopped to walk. I tried not to look but couldn't avert my eyes. He crept closer....then my favorite Blackeyed Peas running song came on the iPod and it broke the trance. I shook my head, got my wits about me, decided that I was not going to be MF's next Penthouse "It Happened To Me" story and picked up the pace again to finish out my run. As I ran away, I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing there alone, raincoat drooping, stunned look on his face. He looked so forlorn and lonely. I laughed, waved, and ran on home. Run tally: 16 miles in 2:49 (including water refill stop).
I've been running since I was a sophomore in high school in 1993: 16 years. There have been ups and downs; good years and bad years; high-mileage years and low-mileage years; fast years and slow years. I may have made out with MF here or there over the years, but I'm still here and still running....so on the days I feel weak and tempted by his smooth talking ways and hansome facade, I'll just remember that no matter how good it feels at the time, there is always the chance that Mindf*ck will pass on some incurable running STD that will sideline me for good. And I'll keep my shorts on, knees pumping, and feet moving.
8.12.2009
And Twice on Tuesdays
My second session of the day was after work, at the rec center on the indoor track. I did 31 minutes, which was probably about 3.2-ish miles. Surprisingly, my legs were not tired, as I expected them to be. I did 10 minutes at 9:30 pace, then sped up to 8:15 pace for 11 minutes, then back to 9:30 for 10 minutes. If I'd been outside, I probably would have kept going, as I felt pretty good. However, the indoor track was monstrous and I was not enjoying all those right-hand turns, so I threw in the towel and did some core work instead.
Overall verdict: Thumbs-up for two-a-days
8.04.2009
All New Luddites Marathon Training Plan
Now, I'd like to claim to be all scientific and hi-tek like Lam, and use something ingenious like The Grid. However, I am neither and so use less of a "Grid" and more of a "simple-chart-type system," which I lovingly call the Luddite's Marathon Training Plan, for my training. I am doing the Denver Marathon on October 17. I have a 16-week training plan. Hence, I need to subtract 16 weeks from the 17th and start on that date, and then do what the plan says each day. Easy, right?
Somehow, I either started on the wrong date, forgot what training week I was in, or both. When you "tweak" damn near every training run on the plan, this can tend to happen. So, my response was to take my original training plan, which was really just sort of a calendar-y table in MS Word, and slap it into Xcel to see what simpleton customization and basic math I could weasel out of it. Here is the result: The All New & Improved Luddites Marathon Training Plan...Now with Math! (for calculating* your over/under stats, guaranteed to make you feel like a rockstar or an utter failure...depending.) 
As you'll notice, I could call the "Over/Under" column simply "Under" based
on my training habits. As a wise woman once told me, "Think of the training
plan as more of a guide than an exact plan." Those are obviously the words I live by.
And to answer the question I know you are all going to be asking...yes, the plan is available for purchase from me for the low, low price of $5.95 per spreadsheet* cell. You do the math on that my friends.
_________________________
*Validity and correctness of equations contained in training plan not guaranteed by seller.
7.07.2009
Two-A-Days: Workout Genius or Masochism?
Anyway, does anybody out there subject themselves to two-a-days? Are they feats of scheduling and workout genius or just pure masochism for (hypothetically-speaking, of course) someone who ought to perhaps consider incorporating other activities into "her" repertoire? (I have fond memories of collapsing into bed every night after two-a-day volleyball and soccer practices back in my sporty high school youth. I used to love them! So I am thinking I might also enjoy the occasional running two-a-day, as the marathon training gets into full swing over the next few weeks. Ok, yes, it occurs to me now that perhaps I lean toward the masochistic side of the house as I realize I enjoy the "pain" (although it's not really actually painful, not in a BAD way. I mean I don't DO real pain, except the puke-threshold kind and that's completely good for you. Right? And it feels kind GOOD to sweat where you feel like you've been wrung inside out. C'mon, you KNOW it does or you wouldn't be here reading this you running geek) inflicted by my dear Running.)
Anyone, anyone? Bueller?
As for my real, non-hypothetical running, yesterday morning I did a lovely 5 miles at 9:00 pace with a running buddy on part of my favorite Highline Canal Trail (wildlife encounter=1 mangy-looking coyote). Today I am "off" and will instead cross-train with weights and core work at the gym. As it's supposed to be 96 today, this sounds like a great plan.
6.02.2009
Race Lineup
May/June
Train to break 2:00 in Rocky Mountain Half on 6/14 by using training plan below. May do some shorter races (5/10k) after the half.
June/July
RW Smart Coach set to "Moderate" training for a theoretical marathon on 7/26 (i.e. San Francisco). May or may not actually end up running SFM, but going to train as though I am, and see where it gets me....won't push to the point of injury but want to see what progress I can make by then. Cause I need to be ready for me fall races... will probably do some shorter races for fun and to see if I have gotten any faster...I know there is a 4th of July somethingK near my house.
August
Depending on how the training goes and if I actually end up doing SFM, I may look for an August marathon. As alternatives, I have the Georgetown-Idaho Springs Half Marathon (close and cheap and a distance I know I can handle) or joining my coworker's team for the Wild West Relay, an ultra relay where I would ultimately end up running about 25 miles in 5-6 mile increments over 24 hours. That's a little outside of my race comfort zone...which means I am scared to do it but that it would probably end up being fun as hell.
September
Omaha Marathon 9/27 - considering doing this is a newbie "trial" marathon with no pressure just to see how I do, mentally prepare myself, and make adjustments for Denver.
OctoberDenver Marathon 10/18- registered and paid, no going back. Plus I want the special Mile High Experience medal I can get for doing both the Rocky Mtn Half and the Denver full. (Seriously, I am not sure that there isn't anything I WON'T do for a cheesy, generic finisher's medal. Try me! ) This isn't exactly the "mile high experience" I have always fantasized about, but that's probably a conversation for another type of blog...
After Denver, I'll see where I'm at and how I feel about doing more marathons....I am posting this now for accountability but probably by the end of June, I'll have changed my plans...
5.21.2009
Everybody's Kung Fu...Running
It all started in January when we got the letter from hubs' friends who proclaimed they were a Team in Training for the Lincoln Half. Then a couple more friends joined them to do the Lincoln Full...then Cross Country Squared nudged me over the edge and I officially decided I was in for a half and full this year...I started hearing about coworkers who run, and recruited them for a "corporate" running group....and yesterday I learned about two other gals at work who have taken up the affair--one doing Team in Training for the Nike Women's Marathon in October and one just in the early "make-out" stage with Dear Running (and now I'm going to have to worry about being faster than all of those other suckers, great).
In all the years I've been with Running, I have never found this many people lusting after my man. Oh sure, he was obviously out there cavorting, getting nasty with girls and guys (he's an equal opportunity kind of soul) near and far...but always he had the good sense to keep it on the sly. I don't know if it's the economy or global warming or the Brooks Running Superfan commercials getting folks all hot-and-bothered, but something is going on out there. Running has obviously joined match.com and found some takers. Anybody else noticed this in your community?
As for last night's HR running club group workout, we did:
1 mile warmup - 9:00 pace
2x1600 repeats - 8:45, 8:15 paces
800 recovery jog after each - 9:35 pace
1 mile cooldown - 9:00 pace
Grand total: 5 miles but I didn't keep track of the total time. I should have done one more 16oo/800 repeat with the A group, but didn't since technically I am still in "race recovery" mode. Next week.
5.19.2009
Recovery 5 Miler: Very Smart or Very Stupid
I am either very smart or very stupid, obvi. (I think we can all guess which side of THAT the odds favor...) I did investigate what Runner's World had to say about resuming post-half running and I got the sense that one should do what one's body is comfortable with, yet not push it. Oh and that I should be a raw vegan, but that's another post entirely.
Well I felt fine before, legs felt fine during, still feel fine now, everythings just fine so....we'll see how I feel tomorrow.
5.06.2009
Hump Day
I planned to do a Cinco Cinco, but found I had exta energy so ended up with a Seis Cinco. Random items of mention:
1) I have discovered my new pace is about 8:30-8:45 since that's what I seem to be running most consistently and comfortably lately. That's a nice improvement over the 9:15 of two months ago. Not sure that I can maintain it more than 6 or 7 miles, though. We'll see...
2) I swallowed THREE bugs. I'm running, I see them in the distance, I see them coming at me, I think, "that would really suck if that bug flew into my mouth" and then....that bug flies into my mouth. This seems to happen to me a disproportianately frequent number of times. I am not sure if it's due to my height, that perhaps my mouth is just positioned exactly at bug-flying altitude? Is it the gum I chew? Perhaps they are attracted to peppermint? I don't know, but I came frighteningly close to vomiting 2/3 times yesterday. Not good.
I was performing a similar ritual yesterday...times three.
3) My training plan since January has been to get up to a half marathon (May 17 Colfax Half) and then from there build up to the Denver Marathon in October. But now that I am knee-deep into this, it is going better than I expected, and I am liking the distance...I am starting to think I might want to try an earlier marathon.
My question is: how long do I really need to work up from a half to a full marathon (I am at 14-15 mile long run right now)? Could I get there by July 26 (San Francisco Marathon)? Maybe August 22 (Park City Marathon)? How about September 20 (Boulder Marathon)? I'm just worried that if I don't have something sooner than October to work toward, I'll lose steam or get bored doing all those long-ass runs. I'm just not sure I need 6 months to get up to the first one?
My goal for the first marathon I run will be simply to finish...I'll move on to pace/time goals (and related training) for subsequent races. Since I can find a training plan to fit virtually anything I want to do, I thought I'd gather thoughts from those of you that have done it before...how long do you need to reasonably go from half to full?
5.01.2009
Not now, I'm busy
There's that part in the movie Marley & Me where Owen Wilson's character verbally fast-forwards through a couple years of their lives with a very long-winded soliloquy; that is exactly how I feel my life has been the last two weeks. (Well, actually to be honest, it's been that way the last 5 years, but the past two weeks especially so.) It has been one thing after another with seemingly no rest in between. I've been so busy I haven't had time to think straight yet it feels like I've gotten nothing done--both at work at at home. Anyway, one thing I did manage to do OKthis week was run. Because I was short on time, I was forced to run faster in order to get done what I wanted...that is not altogether a bad thing. A little recap: - Monday - crammed in quick 6 miles at the park after work
- Tuesday - crammed in 2.5 miles at the park after work, then another 2 plus weights and core at the gym after Shortie soccer
- Wednesday - speedwork with the running group: 1-mile warm-up, few strides, 5x400 at 1:50-2:00 pace, 2-mile cool down
- Thursday - 1-mile warm-up, 45 min of weights/core work, 1-mile cool down
- Friday - off
4.20.2009
Running Arithmetic
2. (Massive Snow Remnants + Long Run)/Minimal Sunscreen = Huge Sunburn
3. Long Run - Ability to Selfishly Lay Around All Day Afterward = Crabby Mommy
4. (Dislike of Pain x Fear of Distance) + 26.2 = Probability I May End Up Like Dire Tune at the Boston Finish Line
Yesterday's 12 mile run was pretty good. Because of the snow leftovers, I wasn't able to run on the nice soft, flat, gravel trails I prefer for my long runs...and I was relegated to the mean streets and hills. It wasn't actually too bad; I had to consciously slow myself down throughout the first half because I was feeling good and going faster than I wanted (trying to stay around 9:45 splits but kept finding myself at 9:00 pace) and I think running in the bike lane next to the traffic (next to, not in like some other morons I know) may have been to blame. It was hilly, but for some reason they weren't bothering me yesterday...well, for the first 9 miles, anyway. I even took the mile 2 zig-zaggy hill from the St. Patties 5K last month at about mile 7, and you know what? It didn't seem that big and definitly wasn't very hard. Didn't even get me winded! So either I have made a lot of progress in the last month, or the Venti Starbucks I had yesterday morning was laced with crack. (About a 50/50 call on that.)
Mile 9 I started to lose a little steam, so I had half the bag of Sharkies I brought with me. They did help, but then I finished off my water shortly thereafter and wished I'd brought more, seeing as the last 3 miles of the run was primarily uphill to get back home, and the sun was hot. But I pressed on, took a couple of 20-second walkbreaks, and made it. My legs were definitely more tired and sore than with the trail runs...and I really, really wished I could just lay on the couch for the rest of the evening. However, the kids needed to be fed, and hubs also did a long 14 mile run, so he was in no shape to be of much help. It was an early bedtime night for all of us.
And, finally, I would like to say that today Dire Tune basically solidified my every fear and excuse for not attempting a marathon before, with her astounding finish at Boston...followed by utter collapse. The thought that this is the way I might finish off any marathon I attempted is what kept me from doing it for so long, so it was not at ALL reassuring to see it happen to her. (Course, I think she probably has more justification, running that super-fast pace, as opposed to me at what will probably be about 10-minute miles. But anyway...)
It was an exciting race to watch and I was really, really wishing Kara G. would pull it out and get that win. She was still fun to watch race, though. Congrats to all of the Boston runners: can't wait to read your race reports!
4.13.2009
The Facts of [Running] Life

you take the bad,
you take them both
and there you have
the facts of [running] life,
the facts of [running] life..."
Holy bejezus, that Mindy Cohn could act.
A humbling pursuit sometimes, the running. Saturday was my 10k race. It was cold, it was wet, it was windy. But dammit I paid for that race, I practiced that hill, and I was not going to surrender. The first half of the race was decent, I started out strong and a fair pace on the big hill. I slowed in spots on the ensuing trail hills......picked it back up.......and then crashed on the last big uphill. I was just tired, cold, and by this point we were running up a large hill in what felt like a 40 mph headwind and spitting rain. I jogged some sections, but I mostly walked. And this, this is what caused me to come in about 10 minutes slower than what I had anticipated I would do. Or perhaps just what I had hoped I would do. Anyway, when I was running, I did fairly well for me, staying between an 8:00 and a 9:00 minute mile, depending on the terrain/wind. Unfortunately, the walking killed my time. Hey, at least it will be easy to beat that time next year....
And then, in answer to my resounding defeat on Saturday, I did my long run yesterday at one of my favorite spots, the Highline Canal Trail, and completed my longest run to-date: 12 miles. It was still cold and damp, and rainy for part of it, but somehow, it felt great out and seeing all the other crazy people out there running, too, justifed me doing it. I think that is one of the things I love most about Colorado--no matter what the weather, you'll see some loon out running in it. And probably in shorts. Anyway, I managed to keep a very consistent pace of 9:30-9:45 and then picked it up the last two miles to 8:45-9:00. No walking, finished strong, felt great, and am not too sore today.
So, I'll take that bad race on Saturday because it meant I got a superb 12 miles on Sunday. And that's just the facts of [running] life. Now, finishing my taxes today is another story...
4.09.2009
ThankyousirmayIhaveanother!
Well, that hill is the start--the start--of the 10K I am doing this weekend (seriously these HRCA race organizers are total masochists). So, the past two weeks, I have gotten reacquainted with the uphill side, most recently on my long run last week. It's still tough, but now that I'm running more and actually training, as opposed to just running so that I can eat chocolate every day without gaining weight, it did seem a little bit easier than I remembered.
Last night my running group met at the base of the Hill, in order to do some hill intervals. I have been dreading it since snow cancelled the originally scheduled session last week. The workout was to do 6 reps of 90 seconds up, followed with 90 seconds of walking/jogging. We were split into our A-B-C "ability" groups and took off. We made it up, came back down, and when our Fearless Leader asked if anyone was up for a couple more reps, everyone willingly jumped right in. Astonishing! Alone, I probably would have called it good....but with the support of the group and all those other people willing to run it again, it was actually...ok. Peer pressure is a beautiful thing.
Wednesday's workout:
1 mile warmup on track, 9:00 pace
8 reps 90 seconds uphill, 90 seconds walk/jog 7:45-9:45 pace depending on steepness
1 mile cooldown, 9:00 pace
3.30.2009
More Vile Snow
**Update: I decided to bundle up and go outside.
Did my 6-mile neighborhood street out & back, plus added a little for good measure. Evidently the cold kept me moving and I ended up at 6.8 miles in 48:09. So I guess we'll call that a tempo run. And there was devil's food cake with funfetti frosting for reward.
3.28.2009
Nebraska: May the Wind Always Be At Your Back.
3.27.2009
Nebraska is really...flat.
But the bonus is that normally running in hilly terrain at 6300 feet and then running on the positively, absolutely, nastily, gloriously! heavenly! flatness here made my recovery run yesterday a breeze. I set out to do 2-3 miles, to just let the legs loosen up after the speedwork we did at the track on Wednesday night and ended up doing 5.2 miles. It was a little windy--damn Nebraska wind--but overall it was pretty nice. Nice tree-lined streets, nice smooth sidewalks, relatively few cars, no stoplights. Nice little jaunt.
Today was bitter-cold and [of course] windy so I took the day off. Here's to hoping tomorrow is warmer, if not less windy, for my 10 mile long run.
3.25.2009
High School Track...for Adults

1 mi warm-up
4 x 400 2 man relays at max V02
1 mi cool-down
stretching & core work
Tempo: Moderato
The run:
10 min warmup - 10:00/mi pace
4 miles - 8:00-8:30/mi pace
5 min cool down
I basically spent the whole time reciting this in my head, over and over and over, "'comfortably hard'...you know you're working, but you're not racing. At the same time, you'd be happy if you could slow down," and tried to keep myself in that zone. Unfortunately, the iPod was not on my side yesterday and kept shuffling all this really great, mellow, cool, long-easy-run type music. That is, until the last few minutes...then it kicked in with the stuff I downloaded specifically for the days when I need a fast beat to keep my legs moving or to pick up the pace. The ultimate slap in the face? As I was just finishing my cool down, Madonna's "Give It 2 Me" came on. And I wanted to give it to her, I wanted to keep going...but had to go pick up the kids. Damn you Shuffle!
PS: I would like to thank Vanilla over at Half Fast for giving me the new excuse that I'm not slow just because I'm slow...I'm slow because I'm training for a marathon. Duh.
3.23.2009
Hills + Calves = Ouch
Since the weather was fabulously nice yesterday and predicted to be cold and possibly snowy today, I tinkered with the running schedule (again) yesterday and managed to eke out another 8-miler so I could take today off. Instead of the trail running I have been doing on my long runs, I did hubs' 8-mile street loop instead. Actually it's 8.2...but I am pretty sure I walked the .2 at one point on one of the hills. It's a ridiculously hilly loop and my calves were (and still are) feeling it. But, I got it done and can now be lazy today. And yet, all I want to do is go for a run this afternoon...curse you irony!
3.20.2009
Making time for the long & steady
It is important to note that I don't really race to win, or even necessarily place--I do it for fun, comeraderie, to see how I do and keep myself motivated on the road to the big M. And of course, like duh, for the shirt. I have been stewing over how to work in this long run plus the race all week...hubb-o's advice? "Just run. Don't worry about it." Ummmmmm, yeeeaaah thanks.
It's warm out today and so I think I'll do a long, easy trail run today and just the race tomorrow. I think that is my official decision. Unless I change my mind.
Update: I did a little over 8 miles in about 77 minutes...ish. I think. The tricky part was that I left my watch at the hotel on a trip last week and while I am waiting for it to arrive home safe and sound to me in the mail, I am forced to use my blackberry to keep track of time. NOT ideal. I don't recommend it.