70 laps, 14 inches, Ridiculous NYC Housewife

Item 1: Due to the recurring snow phenomenon, I was forced indoors last night for my 7 mile run. Now those of you who tolerate, nevermind enjoy, the cursed treadmill probably are saying, "well that's not as nice as outside, but hey the treadmill isn't so bad, and that's not such a long run..."

Except that I loathe the treadmill. I simply cannot run in place for more than about 10 minutes without wanting to pull all of my hair and teeth out, or biting off every one of my fingernails. So, that means when I am forced inside....it's the 1/10 mile track at the rec center. 7 miles = 70 laps. (The only thing worse? The 13 miles/130 laps hubs did at the indoor track last week. Cannot fathom how he made it.)

The nice thing about running on the track is that I tend to run faster because 1) it's completely flat, yo and 2) I just want to get the hell done and have all the people working out and lifting weights stop staring at me like I 'm a crazy person because yes, after 45 minutes, I am STILL THERE RUNNING AROUND THAT DAMN LITTLE TRACK.
So last nights run stats: 7 miles in 1:07...which interestingly, is only a minute longer than it took me to complete my 10k last weekend. Sigh. If only every race were flat.

Item two is the 14-22 inches of snow they are saying we will get throughout today and tomorrow morning. IT'S F-IN APRIL: SNOW YOU GET A FAIL FOR MISSING WINTER COMPLETELY. If we do indeed get that snow, I will post some fun buried-dog-and-shorties shots. Stay tuned.

And finally, I saved the best for last. I finally watched last week's episode of Real Housewives of NYC that I recorded (Because, honestly it is just too fun to watch those ladies and their horrifically inflated senses of self-importance prance around talking about how great they are and play-fighting with one another. They are awful, and I cannot get enough. I can admit it.) and I was blessedly rewarded with a truly fabulous montage of Kelly....running. In the traffic of NYC. She makes some dim-witted [naturally] self-important comments about how she is just the same [fabulous, beautiful, stunning, better-than-you] person in her teeny-tiny running shorts that show off her [clearly-superior-to-any-other female, and probably male too for that matter, homo-erectus-specimen legs] that she is in her [fabulous, beautiful, stunning, better-than-you'll-ever-be] evening gowns...and that running in NYC is the most exhilirating thing you can ever do, you just put shoes on and go! And how she is right with everybody in the trenches running in the middle of NYC traffic...and I am thinking the whole time, "oh yeaaahhh, I am sure the cabbies and other drivers feel exactly the same way...right after they run your ass over." Good times. Please do enjoy her ridiculous pomposity for yourself:

God, I think I love her! Almost as much as Alex and her clearly-gay husband Simon!! She has been likened to a giraffe (I agree, though I always thought of her as a yippy, whiny, annoying little chihuaha--maybe Jill''s little Ginger!--but the giraffe metaphor works)...so I think I'll consider this a "wildlife encounter" as well. Happy Friday!


  1. I will post some fun buried-dog-and-shorties shots.O, man, if this is a euphemism for something HAWT pleaase tell me now so I can make sure I have some ... um ... "lotion" ... "on hand" ... just in case.

    I used to run exclusively on a treadmill. Then I quit my gym and when I first started running in the Great Outdoors, with all of its hills and wind other imperfections, I was appalled at how much slower I was.

    Teh 'mill gives you a false sense of your running abilities, I think.

    And I'm serious about those pix! If it's really just gonna be pix of dogs and kids, I don't wanna be here with my ... um ... "lotion" looking like a perv.

    I mean the bad kind of perv.

  2. Oh man - I can't imagine doing 70 laps - that sounds brutal. On the other hand, you're right about it being nicely flat and it's probably better than the dreadmill...

  3. OOohhhh, that's a tough call. Mill versus 1/10 circle. GAH!!

    I can't stand the NYC ladies. Couldn't watch the Atlanta ones either. Dunno why the Orange County ones would appeal so much better. I hope that doesn't say something about me!

  4. I'm with you on the treadmill. I hate it! I don't have the inside track option so in bad weather to the treadmill I go. I did discover that doing fartleks on the treadmill really helps break up the monotony and actually makes it fun. Did I say that? Treadmill running, fun? Knock me down and slap me silly! LOL!

  5. Seventy laps, huh? That sucks. I thought I was bad - I run around this short block near my house because it's
    A) close to home in case nature calls
    B) it's relatively traffic/dog-free
    C) it's got a "just right" hill

    Unfortunately, I have to run around the block three times to equal one mile. My entire town thinks I'm certifiable.

  6. gqh - sorry to disappoint, put your "lotion": away

    dude - the only thing that would be fun about a treadmill is going after it Office Space-style

    moose - haha! not sure whether I am more certifiable for running the laps or if I were to attempt outdoor run in massive quantities of snow....maybe if I had the yaktraxs.