The Mindf*uck Has Officially Become Useful

You know how sometimes you get tripped up, solely based on your mind telling you to stop, you're tired already, and you can't run 20 miles anyway...yeah, the Mindf*ck.

Well, I have so mastered the art of mindf*ckery that I have actually come around full-circle to back to putting it to good use for me. (And I do thank my regular running buddy for putting up with it, "Streetlight." You're the best, MWAH!) That's how I really know the distance running has made a big change in my life. I find myself making $hit up and creating little falsehoods to get me through just about anything these days. Oh, you know how it starts on the runs:

M2's Inner Voice: oh, come on it's just one tiny little hill and
then you get to get freaky with the Downhill the rest of the way, and then it's
flat.. Easy Peasy.
Reality: It is one large hill, followed by a short downhill and then two more uphills. It is in no way "flat."

M2IV: It's only a 5K left and then you are done.
R: It's a 5M left and then another .5 after that...and maybe one more mile after that. And then you are done.

M2IV: You only have to keep running to the next streetlight, and then you can walk if you want
R: You will not be walking at that streetlight, or any other. You will just keep repeating the streetlight thing until you are back home, or your RB tells you to shut up already.

M2IV: Iactually prefer running at 5:30AM because then I only have to
shower once per day (as opposed to the before-work shower plus the after-run
shower if you go later in the day).
R: The shower part is true, but I still am not a big fan of waking up at 5:00AM. Nor will I ever be.

M2Iv: Peanut butter M&Ms are an excellent pre- (and post- for that matter) run snack; protein, "healthy" fat, and carbs for "energy."
R: Duh, candyholic, it's the M&Ms that make you feel like crap at mile 2. (yeah,
I can tell I am upping the miles, the peanut butter obsession has officially
begun)

And of course there are all the numerous Chunk It Up lies that you tell yourself to get through the long runs, "It's only 6 miles out; just stick on another mile out, you won't even notice it; 12 miles, halfway done; if you're going to do 14, you might as well just do 16...or 20...; one mile to go, that's only another 5 minutes of my life, I can do this for 5 more minutes (when of course it's going to be 10 minutes); after that other hill, this one isn't really even a hill, I'll call it more like flat...and I can run on flat easily...; just a mile to go, a mile is nothing; etc. etc. etc.

I had a nice midday run yesterday from work. Iwas up until midnight Monday night doing some work, and had another long day in the office planned yesterday and knew I was probably going to be still working last night. So I brought my gear and hit Wash Park for an afternoon run. The weather was good, a sunny 40 degrees, clear and bright. The park has two main routes around it--a larger gravel trail loop around the very outside, and a somewhat shorter paved road loop inside the park. I typically run the gravel loop because 1) it's longer 2) it's gravel and 3) there are no cyclists to annoy me. Well, yesterday it was still snow-covered and I didn't feel like running on snow, so I took to the paved road loop which was clean and mostly dry. Only problem was that I didn't know exactly how far it is around it, cause I never run on it. And Gizmo went to sleep on me just a mile into the run, so I had to wing it. I figured it to be about 2 miles. And it is a mile to get to the park from my office, so I was thinking I would do 2 loops, plus the mile each way to the office for about a 6 mile run. And maybe I would tack on a little more if I felt good at the end. So that's what I did. And upon getting back to the office and chatting with coworkers, they informed me that that loop was more than 2 miles. And I had tacked on quite a bit. So I was curious to see exactly what I had done in my hour and 20 minute run, if it was more than 7 miles. Turns out it was 8.8. I mindf*cked myself into thinkging I was only doing 6 little miles and turned out a good tempo 8.8 (on an empty stomach, I might add)! It's amazing what you can do when your mind thinks you're doing something else.... yeah, well I am finding myself doing that in a LOT of areas of my life lately.

Dog Days of Blogging

I think my crazy-busy two weeks of work before the holiday have completely fried my brain. Either that or the dog days of blogging have set in...I could blame the heat, or the post-holiday slow week, or Michael Jackson's death (because really, who can function in the aftermath? certainly not all the crying facebook/twitter commenters participating on cnn.com yesterday. hey, i only watched it for the music and to catch a glimpse of diana ross' hair) but mostly it's probably the fact that my life lately has been kinda boring. Run. Work. Kids. Sleep. Repeat.

I simply don't have much to write about today (and not for lack of trying; I've been rolling around in my noggin what mental diarrhea I feel the need to get out of my head over the last few days, but keep coming up constipated. and you know constipation of any kind is never good.) other than the fact that I had a lovely early morning run with my old pal Cross Country Squared this morning. She is in town for worksy-type activities and I somehow got her to drag her bones out of bed and meet me for a 5:30AM run. Glad she did as it was good to see her again and catch up, and the chatting just made the 5 miles fly by. And a little shout out--I want to heartily thank her for hanging with me, when I could tell she would have gone a lot faster (and probably farther) on her own.

We did my relatively flat post office loop of 5.28 miles in 47:39 (plus a potty break for me halfway through; my bladder is the size of a peanut, I'm used to it) for a 9:01 pace. Good start to the day.

Depending on the heat and how my day goes, I am considering trying a two-a-day today and doing some track work tonight. But don't hold me to it, now that Michael's gone.

Back in the Game, Baby

So after what felt like an extraordinarily long time away from blogland (really only a week), I am back. Where did I go, you might be wondering? Did I go somewhere lush and vacationy like Hawaii? Did I go run a marathon in some exciting venue? Did I land in the hospital after my kids came after me for dumping them in the gutter face first last week?

No, my bloggy friends, I went to Nebraska (insert snarky remark of your choice here).

Anyway, after runinng my highest mileage training week to-date just two weeks ago, last week was an utter fail. I managed some shorter runs of 4-6 miles (which involved me quite literally dragging my dog behind me as she clung, paws-outstretched, toenail-deep, to the few shady spots in the 85-degree humidity of the Cornhusker state), but didn't manage to cram in a long run. I felt horribly guilty and quite cranky about this, but then decided to rationalize it by telling myself it was an intentional easier "rest" week built into my training. So that's where we sit.

This week I'll do a 14 or 15-miler. I swear.

70 laps, 14 inches, Ridiculous NYC Housewife

Item 1: Due to the recurring snow phenomenon, I was forced indoors last night for my 7 mile run. Now those of you who tolerate, nevermind enjoy, the cursed treadmill probably are saying, "well that's not as nice as outside, but hey the treadmill isn't so bad, and that's not such a long run..."

Except that I loathe the treadmill. I simply cannot run in place for more than about 10 minutes without wanting to pull all of my hair and teeth out, or biting off every one of my fingernails. So, that means when I am forced inside....it's the 1/10 mile track at the rec center. 7 miles = 70 laps. (The only thing worse? The 13 miles/130 laps hubs did at the indoor track last week. Cannot fathom how he made it.)

The nice thing about running on the track is that I tend to run faster because 1) it's completely flat, yo and 2) I just want to get the hell done and have all the people working out and lifting weights stop staring at me like I 'm a crazy person because yes, after 45 minutes, I am STILL THERE RUNNING AROUND THAT DAMN LITTLE TRACK.
So last nights run stats: 7 miles in 1:07...which interestingly, is only a minute longer than it took me to complete my 10k last weekend. Sigh. If only every race were flat.

Item two is the 14-22 inches of snow they are saying we will get throughout today and tomorrow morning. IT'S F-IN APRIL: SNOW YOU GET A FAIL FOR MISSING WINTER COMPLETELY. If we do indeed get that snow, I will post some fun buried-dog-and-shorties shots. Stay tuned.

And finally, I saved the best for last. I finally watched last week's episode of Real Housewives of NYC that I recorded (Because, honestly it is just too fun to watch those ladies and their horrifically inflated senses of self-importance prance around talking about how great they are and play-fighting with one another. They are awful, and I cannot get enough. I can admit it.) and I was blessedly rewarded with a truly fabulous montage of Kelly....running. In the traffic of NYC. She makes some dim-witted [naturally] self-important comments about how she is just the same [fabulous, beautiful, stunning, better-than-you] person in her teeny-tiny running shorts that show off her [clearly-superior-to-any-other female, and probably male too for that matter, homo-erectus-specimen legs] that she is in her [fabulous, beautiful, stunning, better-than-you'll-ever-be] evening gowns...and that running in NYC is the most exhilirating thing you can ever do, you just put shoes on and go! And how she is right with everybody in the trenches running in the middle of NYC traffic...and I am thinking the whole time, "oh yeaaahhh, I am sure the cabbies and other drivers feel exactly the same way...right after they run your ass over." Good times. Please do enjoy her ridiculous pomposity for yourself:


God, I think I love her! Almost as much as Alex and her clearly-gay husband Simon!! She has been likened to a giraffe (I agree, though I always thought of her as a yippy, whiny, annoying little chihuaha--maybe Jill''s little Ginger!--but the giraffe metaphor works)...so I think I'll consider this a "wildlife encounter" as well. Happy Friday!

Nebraska is really...flat.

I am on "holiday" in Nebraska. What, you are wondering why in God's name anyone would willingly go to Nebraska for any type of holiday recreation? Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing...

But the bonus is that normally running in hilly terrain at 6300 feet and then running on the positively, absolutely, nastily, gloriously! heavenly! flatness here made my recovery run yesterday a breeze. I set out to do 2-3 miles, to just let the legs loosen up after the speedwork we did at the track on Wednesday night and ended up doing 5.2 miles. It was a little windy--damn Nebraska wind--but overall it was pretty nice. Nice tree-lined streets, nice smooth sidewalks, relatively few cars, no stoplights. Nice little jaunt.

Today was bitter-cold and [of course] windy so I took the day off. Here's to hoping tomorrow is warmer, if not less windy, for my 10 mile long run.