The Mindf*uck Has Officially Become Useful

You know how sometimes you get tripped up, solely based on your mind telling you to stop, you're tired already, and you can't run 20 miles anyway...yeah, the Mindf*ck.

Well, I have so mastered the art of mindf*ckery that I have actually come around full-circle to back to putting it to good use for me. (And I do thank my regular running buddy for putting up with it, "Streetlight." You're the best, MWAH!) That's how I really know the distance running has made a big change in my life. I find myself making $hit up and creating little falsehoods to get me through just about anything these days. Oh, you know how it starts on the runs:

M2's Inner Voice: oh, come on it's just one tiny little hill and
then you get to get freaky with the Downhill the rest of the way, and then it's
flat.. Easy Peasy.
Reality: It is one large hill, followed by a short downhill and then two more uphills. It is in no way "flat."

M2IV: It's only a 5K left and then you are done.
R: It's a 5M left and then another .5 after that...and maybe one more mile after that. And then you are done.

M2IV: You only have to keep running to the next streetlight, and then you can walk if you want
R: You will not be walking at that streetlight, or any other. You will just keep repeating the streetlight thing until you are back home, or your RB tells you to shut up already.

M2IV: Iactually prefer running at 5:30AM because then I only have to
shower once per day
(as opposed to the before-work shower plus the after-run
shower if you go later in the day).

R: The shower part is true, but I still am not a big fan of waking up at 5:00AM. Nor will I ever be.

M2Iv: Peanut butter M&Ms are an excellent pre- (and post- for that matter) run snack; protein, "healthy" fat, and carbs for "energy."
R: Duh, candyholic, it's the M&Ms that make you feel like crap at mile 2.
I can tell I am upping the miles, the peanut butter obsession has officially

And of course there are all the numerous Chunk It Up lies that you tell yourself to get through the long runs, "It's only 6 miles out; just stick on another mile out, you won't even notice it; 12 miles, halfway done; if you're going to do 14, you might as well just do 16...or 20...; one mile to go, that's only another 5 minutes of my life, I can do this for 5 more minutes (when of course it's going to be 10 minutes); after that other hill, this one isn't really even a hill, I'll call it more like flat...and I can run on flat easily...; just a mile to go, a mile is nothing; etc. etc. etc.

I had a nice midday run yesterday from work. Iwas up until midnight Monday night doing some work, and had another long day in the office planned yesterday and knew I was probably going to be still working last night. So I brought my gear and hit Wash Park for an afternoon run. The weather was good, a sunny 40 degrees, clear and bright. The park has two main routes around it--a larger gravel trail loop around the very outside, and a somewhat shorter paved road loop inside the park. I typically run the gravel loop because 1) it's longer 2) it's gravel and 3) there are no cyclists to annoy me. Well, yesterday it was still snow-covered and I didn't feel like running on snow, so I took to the paved road loop which was clean and mostly dry. Only problem was that I didn't know exactly how far it is around it, cause I never run on it. And Gizmo went to sleep on me just a mile into the run, so I had to wing it. I figured it to be about 2 miles. And it is a mile to get to the park from my office, so I was thinking I would do 2 loops, plus the mile each way to the office for about a 6 mile run. And maybe I would tack on a little more if I felt good at the end. So that's what I did. And upon getting back to the office and chatting with coworkers, they informed me that that loop was more than 2 miles. And I had tacked on quite a bit. So I was curious to see exactly what I had done in my hour and 20 minute run, if it was more than 7 miles. Turns out it was 8.8. I mindf*cked myself into thinkging I was only doing 6 little miles and turned out a good tempo 8.8 (on an empty stomach, I might add)! It's amazing what you can do when your mind thinks you're doing something else.... yeah, well I am finding myself doing that in a LOT of areas of my life lately.


  1. Girl you crack me up! Great job on that run and way to Mindf*ck yourself right thru it!

    Mmmmm pb m&m's... OMG I can't wait for Sunday so I can eat pb m&m's again!!!!!

  2. I hate the double shower - but I also don't mind waking up early.

  3. So funny. Great job on the run!

  4. I can't mindfuck my way into a morning run. Two showers a day don't bother at all. Good job fighting through it. Cheers!

  5. I love when your own mind outsmarts your own mind. It's such a victory.

  6. I love this blogpost! The 5am, one shower a day trick is one I use too! As well as the streetlight trick. One thing that always works for me is to focus on something far away, then stare at it. It makes me not notice the distance between me and said object.

  7. This post is GOLDEN! So much mindF%^kery! So little time!

    You are funny and so I must stalk you NOW!

    Laters =P